Seven Qualities Of Successful Dads  | Independent Newspapers Limited
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COLUMNIST, Kingdom Perspective, Sunday

Seven Qualities Of Successful Dads 

Posted: Jun 28, 2015 at 12:00 am   /   by   /   comments (0)

Kingdom Perspective


As I write this, reports of a daring raid on two commercial banks located opposite a police station at Ikorodu, near Lagos, was being flashed on radio and television. As a minister to men, what comes to my mind at such reports is the men connection to crimes and all that is wrong all over the world.

A cursory check often shows that the leadership of the gang and the majority of membership is men. Yes, you sometimes have women in the gangs, but they are few in leadership and in membership. Then, there is the fathering angle. Whether criminals are men or women, however, there’s often than not, a failure of fatherhood in how this individuals came to become what they are.

Fathering is therefore a crucial issue. With Father’s Day only last Sunday, I thought to share this fantastic piece on successful fathering, Seven Qualities of a Successful Dad, by J. Lee Grady, immediate past editor of Charisma magazine, published last week. It reads:

1. A dad is present. …Divorce and out-of-wedlock births have made fatherlessness normal. But it’s not healthy. A good father does not abandon his kids. He is physically present in the home and emotionally available to support and nurture his children. Psalm 46:1 says our heavenly Father is “a very present help in trouble.” If you want to model the love of God to your kids, be there for them. (And if your marriage ended in divorce and you share custody, make every effort to connect with your kids often.)

2. A dad is protective. A good dad draws clear boundaries. He teaches his kids that choices have consequences, and he warns his children about the dangers of sin. Successful dads teach their sons and daughters the rules of life from Scripture. Good dads say: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching” (Prov. 1:8). Successful fathers don’t let their kids run wild; they instil discipline, with appropriate punishment, to instil character. And good dads don’t shy away from talking to their kids about sex and the importance of purity.

3. A dad is affectionate. God created us with a need for affection. Scientists have proven that human beings cannot thrive without receiving several expressions of meaningful touch every day. Yet I cannot tell you how many people I have met around the world who tell me their fathers never hugged them or said, “I love you.” If you want healthy kids, hug them often. Bounce them on your knee when they are small and keep pouring on the affection when they are teens…

4. A dad is encouraging. Your words have the power to make or break your children. In the Bible we see that a father’s blessing has the power to propel a child into his or her destiny. Don’t withhold the blessing. Don’t remind your kids of their failures; don’t withhold your love when they don’t perform according to your expectations. A successful father knows how to see the best in his kids even when they disappoint him. Your words provide the fertilizer that will cause your children to grow.

5. A dad is gentle. I have ministered to countless people over the years who struggle in life because their fathers were either physically or verbally abusive. Many Christian fathers discipline their kids in anger or lash out at them with threats and put-downs. Yet Colossians 3:21 tells us: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” I like the way The Message version translates this verse: “Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.” Get a grip on your anger before it tears your family apart. Parents who rule their kids with an iron fist will not be able to maintain the bond with their kids once they become teens.

6. A dad is stable. Children who grow up in alcoholic homes develop an inability to trust. If your father was normal one day and then drunk or high on drugs the next day, it is hard to know who he is. This creates instability in a child. Your kids need a father who is steady and consistent. Don’t allow any form of addiction to control you. Instead, let your character be as solid as a rock. Let your kids draw security from your consistent behaviour.

7. A dad is faithful to God. More than anything else, your kids need to know that you have a personal relationship with Jesus. They need to hear you pray. They need to see you worship—both at church and at home. They need to see you reading the Bible and living it out. And they need to hear you sharing your faith with others. No dad is perfect… But if you seek to honour God in front of your kids, they will want to follow your example.

Happy Father’s Day – belated, as it is.