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Share a Problem with Agatha

My relationships not smooth

Posted: Apr 22, 2015 at 12:00 am   /   by   /   comments (0)

Dear Agatha, 

I am very confused and don’t know what to do. For over 15 years, things have not worked in any relationship I go into. I know I failed only one man; that was 12 years ago. Since then, things have not worked out for me.

I am fed up of being depressed. What can I do?

Depressed Woman.



Dear Depressed Woman,

A combination of things could be responsible for this development in your life. It could be spiritual, physical or combination of both.

Your allusion to the man you failed 12 years ago maybe the beginning of your present predicament. What happened between the two of you? What kinds of pains did you inflict on this man? Under what circumstances did you end the relationship? Did he deserve what you did to him?

There is nothing wrong in ending a relationship but if done unjustly, especially if the other person has been of extreme value, done exceptional things in the life of the other person, chances are the offending party may never enjoy the mercy of God to have a partner that will be so caring.

Many a time, certain things we take for granted are the same things that come back to hunt us. there is the need for you to go down memory lane to this relationship. If your problem started after then, there is the possibility that you cannot out of tune.

Were you unfaithful to him? What kind of man was he? What was the reason for your dating him? Did you leave him after getting what you wanted from him or left him for a man you considered better?

This is that point one gets to in life and the truth becomes inevitable. You may succeed in deceiving everybody but you cannot afford to lie to yourself on this matter. If you did anything to this man, you shouldn’t have done, go and make peace with God and the man.

Look for him to beg him for whatever you wrong you did to him. Certain things are inexplicable on life and until we take the right step, we would appear to be moving in circles. In begging him for forgiveness, you liberate yourself from the consequences of the actions you took years back.

If you don’t know where he is, go to God in prayers for help.

In addition, it might be of help to look at the histories of the women in your family. Sometimes, a certain pattern emerges in the lives of members of a particular family that others soon take as the symbol of that family. How many women in your family have similar tales to tell? How easy is it for the women in your family to commence and sustain a relationship? If three or more women in your family have gone through similar situations, a pattern is emerging and you must pray to God for help to escape.

Another possibility could come from the mistakes of either of your parents. At times the decisions or actions of parents wait in the future to hunt their children. Only God provides the insight to help one defeat this kind of battle. So don’t be far from your knees.

Then it could be your attitude. This is something prayer cannot resolve for you. Ask yourself, if you were a man, would you date a woman like you? Sometimes we are our own stumbling blocks to success in life. It could come from your attitude, the way you address men and others around you, your approach to issues or playing up things that you shouldn’t. Chances are if you are looking at the wrong direction for your Mr. Right, you may never notice him when he comes in another direction. Learn to be realistic in the choices you make.

In all, be very close to God.


Good luck.