How do I relate with women? | Independent Newspapers Limited
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How do I relate with women?

Posted: Apr 9, 2015 at 12:04 am   /   by   /   comments (0)

Dear Agatha,

You are a great councilor, keep it up dear.

I need your help. I will be turning 27 years of age soon and presently not in any relationship. I have been out of relationship for almost a year and half. It has been a wonderful period for me since it has afforded me the opportunity of focusing on my career without any distraction. 

Irrespective of the relative peace I have enjoyed these past years, I have come to realize the need to be in a relationship that will lead to settling down. My family and colleagues have been putting pressure on me, demanding to know when I would be bringing home a woman. 

A lot of people assume I am married because of my nature. I trust God so much that He has always been there for me in times of difficulties he always come to my aid. However there is this guy I met who thinks I am too difficult and stubborn because I don’t accept the kind of relationship they think I want. Unlike most of them, I belief in marriage and think both parties should respect and value each other.

Unlike so many guys my age, my experience with women is limited. I started my first relationship in my final year and when I discovered it wasn’t working between the lady and I; I opted out.

I need to be in a relationship but don’t know how to go about it. Please help me. 

Confused Boy.




Dear Confused Boy,

The best place to begin is by having a clear vision of what you want in life. It must be crystal clear to make it possible for you to know the kind of woman you need to help you carry on the dream.

To achieve this, you must learn to look beyond the physical appearance of the woman you want for a wife. A lot of times, appearances can be very deceptive and frankly, it takes more than a pretty face to make a marriage work. It takes love, care, tolerance, attention, respect, understanding, patience and responsibility to make a marriage work. For your marriage to work, the desire has to come from deep within you. It has to be something you want because it is the only way to acquire the kind of determination every marriage needs to scale through the difficult times.

You also have to accept one basic truth about life; the imperfection of us all. This is where the sacrifices in marriages grow from. You must at all times be ready to make the sacrifice marriage requires to be stable and you can only do this for a friend. Therefore ensure the woman you plan to share your life with is a friend, one who will always have the understanding you need to make your home a happy one.

To get that kind of woman, resist the urge of placing sex on the front burner. Begin by offering her friendship before anything else. This way, you get to know her without the encumbrance of sexual emotions which often than not stifles a relationship even before it takes off.

Above all learn to be very honest with yourself at all times. What you cannot accept in the long run, don’t out of fear of losing the affection of a woman pretend you can because over time, the issue would eventually make the relationship very difficult to conduct.

Just be practical in your search and above all entrust God with your dreams.

Good luck.


Share a problem With Auntie Agatha,, Tel: 08054500626