Mr. Corruption Laments And Warns | Independent Newspapers Limited
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Mr. Corruption Laments And Warns

Posted: May 20, 2016 at 2:00 am   /   by   /   comments (0)

Chuks Osuji
It is sometimes bewildering why the people, particularly Nigerians tend to torment and mess up my name instead of glorifying me.
My name is Corruption: The Almighty. My father’s name is Money. Unfortunately, although I did not know my mother, my seedlings include injustice, impunity, deceit, nepotism, tribalism, etc. Of all my seedlings, my two cousins are the closest to me, and it is they that provide avenues for my activities. They are: bribery and stealing. However, before proceeding to unleash my venom on those hypocrites, I must mention that my grandfather is Satan from whom I inherited my behaviour and character as a matter of family traits.
Money, my father was a very good teacher who often taught us not to lose the family trait because of the enormous influence it wilds in the world. My father used to laugh when some misguided persons and individuals refer to him as “the root of all evils.” He often asks which evil? According to him, it is the people who are pursuing him relentlessly making him “the Almighty” that are the real evils and not him who is pursued both by the dead and the living.
Unfortunately, due to the fact that people have become so clever and security conscious, my cousin’s activity (stealing) has been curbed very drastically because once my cousin performs an act he is often regularly arrested, beaten, lock up and sentenced to prison by a man on hood and Whig.
Yet, such a man has used my own activity to let off those who use me to circumvent justice, setting free those whose crimes are so glaring and even worse. Members of my family are proud of my father, MONEY, because he believes in the Supreme power of Almighty God who owns the world. But he believes that it is he, the money that rules the world while God reigns. My father does not or cannot compete with the Almighty God. But he believes that as far as this world is in existence by God’s creation, it is HE, MONEY whom people worship more and more, ascribing to it all powers doing anything and everything. Wonders will never end. Now that I have said reasonably enough about my family, it is appropriate that I can begin to pour out my venom against those men and women in this country who are condemning me yet they are my proprietors, sponsors and beneficiaries of my activity as Mr. Corruption.
In this country today, everybody including suya makers in the street and newspaper vendors are talking of corruption. And each time I hear such jazz, I get angry because I, as an individual, a great son of money and a descendant of Satan, I am an innocent person. It is people who harass my father by looting the people’s wealth then turn round to use my cousin’s source; to launder the money overseas.
My anger is very numerous against members of the government, the worst offenders, no, the most effective perpetrators of corruption. In fact, God in Heaven and Satan on earth know that corruption among those in government is so pervasive and at all levels.
Even the number one citizens who preaches and goes around the world telling them about me may not be corrupt according to many. But by allowing corrupt officials around him, what can we say?
Today there is no State Governor in this country, including the past ones who does not directly or indirectly participate in an act of corruption on hourly basis. Yet, they come out to condemn me. Ah, I don chop sheet.
Nobody in government today from the gateman to office assistant, clerks in the office, those in the pay offices, pension office staff, including those who work at the mortuaries that does not take little bribe to allow family members of those in the mortuaries to see their loved ones.
In the education sector, perhaps people think that, that’s where my operation is more active and lucrative.
What of where many men of God today have become clerical merchants using all types of means to extract something from down trodden rural dwellers in the name of God’s work. What of in the police? I don’t want to mention that, because even the belt which average police man is wearing is corrupt. Is it in the prisons where inmates rereleased at night to go and sleep with members of their families only to return at morning? In short, there is no aspect of Nigerian society that I as Mr. Corruption do not operate. None, absolutely none. My warning is that people should stop saying that they will eradicate me. But before they do that, I will eradicate them first. They should be warned and seriously advised