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COLUMNIST, Rubrics of Thoughts

Ladies Beware

Posted: Oct 5, 2015 at 12:00 am   /   by   /   comments (0)


In the late nineties, it was easier to get disentangled with American marriage with any of their ladies. But during the Bush regime, the Immigration Law was tightened to make it impossible for any Foreigner who got Immigrant Visa by way of marriage with American lady, if there is divorce, that man can never bring in another lady or to file for Immigrant Visa for such a lady. The Americans became wiser because of too many incidents of unexplained reasons for numerous divorces among Nigerian men and their seeming wives. In fact, then it was easier to divorce an American lady and to get in another lady from Nigeria as a wife. Not anymore. American Immigration laws have regularly responded to the hanky-panky of foreign husbands. Of course, divorce in America is as easy as buying a sachet of pure water in the street.

Before Bush what one needed was just to divorce before one could marry another Lady. I remember of a case in which two Igbo couple needed to wed in a church in the State of Texas. The marriage law in Texas required that a divorcee before contracting new wedding must show evidence of previous divorce in the State of Texas. But the law in the State of Nevada does not require such before contracting a new marriage. When they could not wed in Texas they got a flight, flew to Las Vegas, went to a Marriage Registrar, but he had just left. They rushed out and saw him at car park as he was about to enter his car. They pleaded with him. That was an easy request. He came out, brought out his little box, and invited a passer-by to witness the weeding. Few minutes he pronounced them wedded as husband and wife. He collected twenty dollars as his official fee and issued them with a Marriage Certificate. They were on their way back to Dallas Texas for the proper church wedding next day. But now the law has changed and changed for the worst.

Those Nigerian ladies who get married to foreign-based husbands must be sure of what they are getting. The best they could get in all probability is a comfortable flat here in Nigeria, well furnished, regular call from their absentee “honey on phone.” At the other end, tukumbo husband is living with another wife, because under the new law he cannot bring his Nigerian wife.  They must be prepared to remain in Nigeria, bearing children and raising them without their father.  Sometimes, trouble as to who owns a particular pregnancy may arise. And this may be a simple reason to file a divorce. But in Nigeria, he will meet a brick-wall because divorce in Nigeria is as difficult as squeezing water from a stone.

Thus, our girls must stop building their castles in the air for overseas husbands. They are simply, practicing “Cash, Carry and Dump.

Sometimes, these ladies already waiting for a passage to the US may never get their ways yet their so called husbands would be playing pranks just to give them hopeless hope. Today, some of them have become very comfortable here, carrying out businesses of their tokunbo husbands – selling vehicles for them or even managing big fashion and cosmetic stores for their husbands who come at an appropriate time to put their wives in a family way. To many girls, that arrangement is better than nothing because as one might often say, “at least I have married and am now having children and living comfortable.” Is that what they need in marriage? After all, children raised by one parent are sure to become architects of examination malpractice, leaders of campus cults, members of armed gangs and other anti-social miscreants.

In short, our ladies can do well by settling down with good husbands here, because a bird at hand is worth two in the bush. Can they listen?