How Can I Address My Husband’s Daughter’s Rude Behaviour? | Independent Newspapers Limited
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How Can I Address My Husband’s Daughter’s Rude Behaviour?

Posted: Sep 24, 2016 at 12:25 pm   /   by   /   comments (0)

Dear Folake,
My husband’s adult daughter routinely treats me poorly at family functions and gatherings. I have always been polite, friendly, and supportive to her and her children. However, most of the time she just refuses to acknowledge my presence or ignores me when I attempt to engage in conversation. Since I have been engaged to her father and our wedding plan is in top gear, she has taken to making rude statements in front of me to anyone around, stating she would like her father to move in with her (now) so she can take care of him when he gets older.
She will make sure he gets ‘conjugal visits.’ And he should move in with her now so she can feed him because clearly I don’t take care of him properly. I know it’s petty, but her behaviour is really starting to bother me, especially when she is so dismissive of our relationship. I normally sit in silence and I can deal with the cold-shoulder treatment, but I’m tired of hearing her rude comments in front of others. How can I address her without making it worse? By the way, I am a Yoruba woman while my husband is Ibo.

Dear Temidayo,
Is it that your husband’s daughter waits until he has left the room to make these comments, in which case you should let him know immediately so he can speak to her privately, or she’s been saying things like, “Dad, move in with me so I can take good care of you and even get you a good nurse that will give you a massage whenever you need it” (which is just creepy from start to finish) in front of both you and your husband, and he’s said nothing.
Whichever situation is the case, you need to have a conversation with your husband. It’s supremely not okay that his daughter announces her plans to start nursing her still-healthy father in order to interfere with his romantic relationships, and he needs to put a stop to it immediately. If he’s unwilling to, you should seriously reconsider this marriage. This is deeply creepy and inappropriate behavior, and if your husband-to-be tries to dismiss these comments with “that’s just how she is” or “she doesn’t mean anything by it” (she clearly does), you should be very concerned about how invested he is in your comfort and well-being.