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Faith, LIFE

‘People Have Not Realised That God Instituted Marriage’- Odubiyi

pastor Taiwo...
Posted: Jun 26, 2016 at 1:00 am   /   by   /   comments (0)

She is many parts put into one; a charming preacher, an author, a marriage counselor, a business woman and a humanitarian.  She is Pastor Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi ,  the Associate Senior Pastor of The Still Waters Church, The Founder of Pastor Taiwo Odubiyi Ministry and the Executive President of Tender  Hearts Family Support  Initiative, a Non-Governmental Organisation that deals with rape, HIV /AIDS and  violence against women. CHINYERE ABIAZIEM met with her recently where she gave her views on issues surrounding dating, marriage and a bit of politics.

There seem to be discordant tunes over dating. In your view is dating sinful?

I have dealt with this issue a number of times, dating is actually when a man and woman go out to spend some time together in a public place; in order to get to know some basic things about each other, know if they have things in common and maybe if God is involved.
Going by that, the purpose of dating is not a sin. It becomes bad when some things are not in place or if wrong things are being done in the process. Of course there should not be intimacy of any sort.  Before people go on a date they need to know that dating has rules and if the rules are not heeded to, things would be messed. But dating itself is not a sin.

You mentioned rules of dating; can you expatiate on the rules?

Just as marriage has some rules or principles to be followed to make it last and successful, so do dating. For example, dating is not for sex; sometimes you hear that people go on a date and the next day they are sleeping together. This is wrong. If you are going on a date get ready to ask questions. Someone needs to know who you are going out with and where. Do not go out with a stranger; do not go out without telling anyone. You should also be careful of what you wear.  Don’t date a stranger; don’t date someone you know you cannot marry because dating is supposed to lead to a relationship. You can go out with the person God has been speaking to you about. You ask questions to confirm what you are already feeling in your spirit, the two of you being in agreement, with prayers, and start a relationship to lead in courtship and marriage.

Is it wrong to double date?

Yes it is wrong to double date! Double dating is wrong and a sin. It does not show trust in God; it does not show faith in God. It is cheating, it is a life of deceit, it is wrong.

Who should couples go to when they have issues in their marriages?

First and foremost if couples are having issues with their marriages; before they tell the third person they must try to resolve the problems.  But if they cannot resolve the problems they should contact their pastors. At least their pastors are familiar with them. Then the person to counsel them should be Godly and unbiased.

As a marriage counselor, what do you think is the reason why some marriages crash and why some couples kill themselves?

The cause of divorce is the lack of knowing the purpose of marriage or why God instituted marriage. People want to get married without knowing what marriage is all about. People have not realised that God instituted marriage. Marriage is not man’s idea, Satan’s idea, or society’s idea. To get it right we have to go to God and most of the time some people do not get it right.  On couples killing one another, it is really unfortunate for things like that to happen. There is actually no reason for that. These are the same people who stood before God and other witnesses to say ‘I do’, promising to love each other. All these happen out of lack of self control, leaving God out and selfishness. Human beings can be selfish; we have that in our nature. Sometimes when people do not have their ways they want to lose their temper and things go wrong.

What are some of the hurdles you face being a pastor and a pastor’s wife?

I do not see anything as a challenge because I know that this is what God created me to do, because I know I am in the will of God. I gave my life to Christ in February 1985, after which I realised that I have this passion for the things of God. I love what I am doing. Part of knowing your calling is having a passion for what you are doing and doing it without stress. So I am having fun; I love what I am doing. I’m only trusting God for more support so that I would be able to do more for Him.

Don’t you sometimes get discouraged in your ministerial works?

Hmmn. I know without a shadow of doubt that this God called me, so there is no regret. But when some needs are not being met, I sometimes ask myself what is going on? Then I am like, ‘God what am I going to do, how do I get help?’

How do you cope with advances from men?

Men? Men will not come to me because they would see that everything about me is about God, so they won’t come. It has never happened and it would never happen.  From the moment they see me they know I stand for Christ.

Has there been any time your marriage was threatened by another woman?

No! No! No! My husband is also a pastor, it is possible that some ladies come to church and want to get unnecessarily close but because my husband loves his wife and fears God, we have been able to manage that very well, there has not been any problem.

As a Nigerian, what is your assessment of the trend of democracy in Nigeria?

Hmmn. I’m not into politics. We are in the last days as the Bible has revealed and I will just encourage people to do what I have been doing, which is actually to pray for our country and our leaders. It is actually Biblical that we pray for everyone in authority.

Can we actually say the democracy in our nation is productive?

Again I will say that we should pray. As a matter of fact I will say that with God all things are possible and we should not lose hope on the state of things in our country.

Is President Buhari truly the messiah Nigeria has been yearning for?

Well like I said, time will actually tell all these things. I am praying for our country and president Buhari and I believe God is in control.

Lastly, is it wrong for a Christian to go into politics?

No it is not wrong, it is a wonderful thing.